What do you do when all you want to do is talk about it and no one will ask? What do you do when the feelings stretch tightly around your chest at times it's too hard to breathe? What do you do when the monster inside you gobbles your joy and leaves you filled with nothing but it? What do you do? I turn to the only thing I know as truth: words. This is my truth and these are my words. For thirty days straight, I will dedicate one blog a day to my son. His life. His death. I will not censor myself as society has taught me to do because still to this day, death is a taboo no one is comfortable enough to break through. And in this, I am hoping that the monster that has grown inside me sometimes taking over what little emotional stability I have will shrink to a manageable size. But let's be honest; the monster that is will never go away. I will write to save myself from this demon. I will write to celebrate the life of my son. I will write because that is all I know to do. I. Will